Gordon Lightfoot Tries to Profit Off of My Death!

By Trevor Klaus

Throughout the duration of the trip, I have been blessed with truly excellent weather. However, suddenly it has changed over the last few days to be more dreary and wet, conditions that make commandeering a large vessel extremely difficult. This sudden change also incurred with our group reaching Belfast, home of the Titanic Museum. For those unaware, the sinking of the Titanic is perhaps the most famous shipwreck of a major vessel throughout history, and this change in weather was surely no coincidence.


The winds experienced over the last few days reminded me of a very specific time in Michigan every year, the gales of November. Although for November these winds are common, this is not the case for mid-June. It is still in the prime of shipping season, and low and behold I was about to embark on a journey through a museum about a famous ship. I knew something was afoot, maybe even alightfoot perhaps. Then it hit me.

When was the last time you thought about Canadian folk artist Gordon Lightfoot? Needless to say it has probably been a while since that name came anywhere near your brain. The man had been in and out of the spotlight in the 1960s and 1970s with his music, but clearly lacked a magnum opus to flaunt in his musical repertoire. He was running out of ideas, and most importantly, out of time. The man was fading from relevancy, and needed to act fast in early November of 1975. However, he saw an opportunity to make music magic with the bulk carrier SS Edmund Fitzgerald, as it made an early November voyage across Lake Superior. To put a long story short, it has essentially been proven that Gordon Lightfoot sabotaged and sunk the Edmund Fitzgerald for personal gain.

The situation I found myself in today was all too familiar to that of the Edmund Fitzgerald some 40+ years ago. This was no time for the gales of November, Gordon. You really should not have tried to pull this sort of bullshit in June, it was too easy for me to figure out. Your time as a relevant folk artist has come and gone. Fade into oblivion thot, for your profit seeking musical ways will not make a dead man out of me. No catchy folk songs about how a trip to a museum convinced me to spend a week on a shipping freighter just for the experience that happened to hit some giant fucking “ice berg”. Not now, not ever.

After surviving a threat on my life from a Canadian folk artist, I embarked on a journey through the Titanic museum. The museum to me was just OK, as it didn’t have too many artifacts. It was eerily similar to how there are no artifacts relating to Gordon Lightfoot’s involvement in the sinking of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald. The museum did manage to have lots of information of the Titanic, just not a lot to show for it.

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